Just another scheme in the singles game. I've answered my fair share of them but few have actually panned out. After calling them, they say they're going to call you back, but do they ever? Maybe one in a million, if that. It's always me pursuing them, calling them back, leaving messages that never get returned. Most single men can relate to that.
Women say they don't want anyone who plays games but they're the ones playing the games: chasing them, leaving messages, no return phone calls. You get the picture. And they wonder why they're alone or haven't found the right type. That's because they don't give a guy the chance to get to know them and that's because they don't answer the responses to their ads. Stretching the truth or all-out lying is part of the territory in personal ads because now they are online. It's just a bunch of words on a website and a photo. Whether or not the photo is of them or what they really look like, presently, and not many years ago, is debatable.
One time, I answered an ad and the lady said she was a certain age, didn't say anything about having children, and was voluptuous but not overweight. When I talked to her, she slowly revealed the opposing truth. I finally met her in person. Yes, she was overweight but that wasn't a problem, the fact that she lied to me was a problem. I mean the ad was deceiving, she lied from the get go. Not only that, initially, I had to call her repeatedly before she called me back.
If you're going to place a personal ad, shouldn't you be as honest as possible for the best response? If you're overweight then maybe you should put that in your ad as well as if you have children, your height, if you're a smoker or a drinker. If you do that, being honest, I mean, no one will be discouraged.
Certainly, it's disappointing when you read these ads and you can't answer them, because you can't measure up to the strict requirements. Few of us can. Lying only gets the wrong response. Honesty keeps those from responding who aren't interested in someone with children, is overweight, smokes, drinks, etc., and those who are do respond.
Personal ads requiring perfection are doomed from the onset. Here's an example: MUST have a full head of hair (which I do not have), MUST be tall, 5' 11" or taller (I'm only 5'6"), MUST be muscular, athletic, (1 have a slight build), MUST be a doctor, lawyer, policeman (I'm not even close), MUST be between a certain age (I'm either too young or too old), MUST like going to clubs ([ don't like the bar scene at all), MUST be a certain weight, etc.. etc.... You get the picture.
Admittedly, not all the ads are like this, but it's discouraging to read these ads because you’re not perfect. Who is?
I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with wanting a certain type but when you get too specific, it takes the fun out of it. There's no spontaneity.
I have a friend who answered a personal ad. He met this women at her house. This lady, (whom I believe was unemployed), had the nerve to say to my friend that he would have to work three jobs to support her and her kids. That takes a lot of nerve to say to someone you just met. If she had the decency to tell him all this in her ad or on the phone. He would have said "Forget it!"
Since some of these women who place ads are looking for perfection, I would like to place my own ad looking for perfection. Here it is: SWM ISO the perfect women. MUST be in great shape (athletic build—can't be overweight in the least bit), MUST have their real hair (no wigs, weaves), MUST be their natural color (not bleached, streaked, frosted, highlight¬ed in any way, shape or form), MUST have their real teeth (no caps, bridge work, etc....), MUST be financially secure (a high-paying job, no welfare or government assistance), MUST be a doctor, lawyer or a CEO of a big company or any related big money-making position, MUST like to spend money (especially on me), MUST have no kids whatsoever, MUST have their own place (preferably a house), MUST be materialistic and superficial. Will only respond to women who meet this criteria (or similar qualities). How many responses would this ad solicit? Very few if any at all. And if I did get responses, it would be from women responding to put me in my place.
Demanding perfection in a potential partner makes it harder for everyone to meet anyone. In seeking a soul mate, why do we put so much emphasis on looks and material possessions? Go into it with an open mind and have a good time. If you're too picky, you'll never find what you're really looking for, someone who loves and respects you for who you are and appreciates your unique qualities.
There's nothing wrong with wanting certain qualities, but let's not go overboard.
I knew someone who was very, very picky. He would not even look at a girl unless she was "exceptionally thin" because he liked the anorexic model type. If the woman couldn't hide behind a piece of dental floss—forget it! When he finally stopped being so picky, he found a compatible woman, who couldn't hide behind a piece of dental floss, and is now happily married. Certainly, he was surprised to find what he wanted in the most unlikely package. And so can you if you don't have anything too specific in mind.
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